True Christmas

This time of year we can easily become depressed from dwelling on our problems.  Millions of people, around such holidays as Thanksgiving and Christmas, look at their situation of finances, being alone, selfish desires that have not panned/worked out and become angry and sad during a time when all we should be doing is worshipping our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in praise and thanksgiving.  Why?  Well, if you are a person who has a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, heat and air, drinkable water, indoor plumbing, sight, hearing, etc. you are blessed to the nth degree.  How often do we think our lives are falling apart and God is not listening?  Yet, in our selfish thinking of what we want and think we need, God is there with us, continuing to shower us with His loving grace and mercy through providing us with the necessities that millions of others are unable to have.  In reading last months In Touch magazine, I came across a brief article talking about these very blessings that we so often forget are blessings.  Then in this months magazine, I came across what Christmas is really about.  Christmas is about our receiving of a gift.  A gift from God.  It's not about all the giving.  It's about our thanksgiving in humility of accepting and accepting God's gift of His Son.  Just like by saying we are Christians and our belief is backed up by our works and actions, so is our thanksgiving of the birth of Christ and our receiving of this gift acted out by wanting to share this with others.  Then, in our heart's motive, is our giving necessary and real, all stemming from our outward acceptance of God's gift and our honorable praise and worship of Christ.  Just like Nicholas of Myra (aka: St. Nick).

Not Gone, Just Almost Forgotten

What's important to you?  What do you seek?  Is it more money, an updated wardrobe, a new car?  If getting these would you be content in life?  Probably not.  You'd want more money yet again, new clothes again, and yet another new car.  What can allow each of us to be content with where we are currently at right this minute?  It's not looking at our life in a negative way that we are selfish and become wrapped up in what we want and don't have.  Being content with our current state lies in our view of God.  Are we satisfied knowing that He will meet our needs in ways He knows are best?  Can we view our own life in seeing it through God's perspective; meaning our focus is upon what we should do for Him thus for others, or can we not get passed ourselves and the feeling of what we believe is owed to us/what we should have?  We can see all of this in the Apostle Paul and in God's Son, Jesus Christ.  Look at Philippians chapter 4.  Paul is in prison yet again, being persecuted for sharing his faith and telling others about Christ.  Yet Paul is content and joyful.  He isn't caught up in what negativity is thrown his way.  Instead, he trusts God to meet his needs in all things, even if it means the courage to face his own death.  He goes on to tell the folks at the church of Philipi to rejoice (meaning that our inner attitude does not have to reflect our outer circumstance).  We are to find this contentment in our knowing that though we won't get everything that we want, we won't go through life without experiencing pain and discomfort in various formats at times, but that what we need while here on earth Christ well deliver.  He will always supply if we believe, trust and put our faith in Him.

This is extremely difficult at times to live out.  I have struggled a lot with this like all of us have.  Being reminded through Scripture of the above definitely helps me out.  Without Christ and His assurances, I do not know where I would be at mentally or what condition my heart would be in.  When I get caught up in things of this world and compare myself to others based off of materialistic things, I get really down on myself.  I grow angry because I am disgusted with who I am because of what I do not have.  But instead of concentrating on this selfish way of thinking, I am brought back to what is true when I turn to God.  He is my Comforter.  He has helped me from destructing.  He gives me peace in knowing that He has it all figured out already.  He reminds me of what is most important.  Through Him, I am refocused.  My eyes are turned back on Him and not upon my own self and the things Satan tries his hardest to lure us away from Christ; things of the world.  I am reminded of all the ways that God has met my needs, my wife and I's needs.  I am reminded of His love, care and protection in things of my past and in reading about His mercy and love to others throughout Scripture.  Then and only then I am brought back to Paul's type of contentment and joy in life, regardless of the circumstances and situation. 

A little bit country, a little bit rock-n-roll

It is interesting to see how easy selfish thoughts can creep into one's mind.  As I sit here, I hold fresh and dear to me the phone conversation that just ended.  It was with a good friend and brother, whom in all our time apart seem to hold true to a sweet friendship.  It was in this conversation that I was reminded of what our life is really about and what is most important.  It is not of this earth.  It is not of this flesh.  It is that of what is to be and to come.  I'm speaking of life after death and the Second Coming of Christ.  For it is these two things that are most important.  We are to live for Him each day.  We are to set our minds upon Him.  We are to serve Him through growing in our understanding of Him, thus allowing us to grow in our relationship with Him.  We are to serve Him through putting ourselves aside and serving others, those we know (family and friends) and those we don't.  

In thinking, I wonder if I would put such an passion and be so ambitious in my understanding/relationship/service to Christ as I do my desire to act, what would I be like?  What could He accomplish in me and through me?  Sure I sit here thinking how I would love to be an actor in mainstream entertainment.  I want this because acting is something I enjoy.  I wish for this because I want to provide youth and others with a positive influence.  But I also wonder why I can't let this dream go.  I wonder if this is the real reason of why I pursue this??  I do not know.  I sometimes fear that my pursuit of acting is Satan's way of keeping me in his grasp, to hinder in my hearing of the Holy Spirit in the stillness so that He can guide me to where He is truly wanting me to go.  So He (God/Christ/Holy Spirit) can speak to me and I will finally listen.  I do think that Christ needs to be seen and heard in mainstream actors, actresses, musicians, but is being Christ in this field the real driving force or is it, in the end, more of the entertainment idea??  

I am an ambitious person.  There are lots of things I want to do and lots of places I'd like to go to/see.  But as much as I'd love to act, I want to provide for my wife more.   I want to take some of the financial burden off her.  I want to finally take her on our honeymoon.  I want to be able to treat her.  I want to be able to pay for meals for my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, my friends.  I know that God has blessed me.  I know He created me with the creativeness and gifts and talents and outwardness for a reason.  I know He has instilled in me a desire to help others and care a great deal about those in need for a reason.  I know that in this time of working part-time that He is teaching me new things, revealing things about me that are ugly that I didn't know about, as well as showing my wife and I how faith matters.  Faith in Him and Him alone.  He has provided.  He has met our needs.  And He continues to do so.  

Just a Spoon Full of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down

Yeah, that's right.  For whatever reason I have the song from Mary Poppins in my head.  And since I am home alone, I am audibly singing the song.  

I woke up this morning and read this for my devotion:

"Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You.  Show me where to walk, for I give myself to You."

~Psalm 143:8

This came from one of David's prayers in the midst of a time he was experiencing hopelessness and depression.

I don't find it a coincidence that I read this verse today.  I find myself with a little less hope at times.  Hope in the world, hope in life, hope in others, hope in myself.  I find myself seeing more of the negatives in things and in people.  I don't want to be like that.  For losing hope in the world, in life, in others and in myself is doubting God.  And why do I doubt Him?  Because how I think things should go, be fixed, work out as I think they should don't?  That's very selfish of me.  It's from this selfishness that causes me to be easily annoyed and aggravated.  It's in this that I catch myself literally yelling at other drivers on the road.  Sure I don't really want to die in a car wreck and would like for their attitude of what I see as "I am the only person on the road therefore I can do what I want" to lean more toward thinking of others and obeying traffic signs and laws.  But I can't get caught up in others behaviors.  I can't change people.  

We aren't promised an easy, unhindered life when we put our trust and faith in Christ.  Just look at the Apostle Paul and the life he lived based upon his writings from prison.  And the biggest example of this is the life of our perfect sacrifice for our sins, Jesus.  Right before he was arrested, in the Garden of Gethsemane, He cried out to God to take this (the physical and spiritual pain He was about to endure) from Him.  He told Him that if there was another way to accomplish this that He would like for that course instead.  But, He then said that if there isn't and this is the only way that you and I can have the opportunity at forgiveness and being able to spend eternity in heaven then so be it.  He told Him, "Not what I want but Your will be done."  

So I need to worry.  I need to get caught up in what the secular world has placed all of its importance on.  I need not feel as if my life is in a downward spiral.  We go through things to help us out in the bigger scheme of things.  I am going through this to let me see thoughts and personality traits that I have that need to be changed.  I am going through this to grow in my faith.  I am going through this to grow in my knowledge of who Christ really is.  I am growing in my relationship with Him as well.  I am getting to see how He does love and care for us by meeting our needs and providing the essentials (just like He says He will).  There is good that can come from anything.  We have to want the good and sometimes choose to seek for it.  

I know He has a plan for me.  There are gifts and talents that He has equipped me with that He is using now (unbeknownst to me).  He knows my many interests that I have.  I don't want them to become my main confused focus because I still do not know what I should do.  I want to do too many things I think.  What matters to me is what we read two verses later in Psalm 143 in verse 10, "Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God.  May Your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing."  That is where I need to put my hope and focus.  It isn't in a FT job, a house with some land so my wife and I can have a dog.  It isn't in having more money so I can take my wife to the beach for a week and take my mom or dad or brother & his wife out to eat.  Sure that would be very nice but it's not what is most important and what truly matters.  What matters is that even in what is perceived as a rotten situation, I do my best to keep hoping and trusting in Christ.  That I let His will to be done and not what I want.  For it is in this that others will benefit.  Look at the good that came from Paul's time in prison.  Look at the good that came from Jesus' arrest and death.  Good can come from, what can easily be perceived as, a crappy situation.  But it is only perceived that way when we look at it & think on it in a selfish light.  My life and my situation is not about me.  It's about my wife, my family, my friends, people I come in contact with, and most importantly it is about God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  It is when we make our time worthwhile out of loving service for others that is key, regardless of the circumstance/situation...good or bad, positive or negative.  It is here we lose sight of self and focus on God and others.  It is here His light shines.  It is here His love endures forever.

A New Perspective/Outlook/Light

It was brought to my attention that being honest during my down times and sharing those temporary thoughts isn't the best thing to do.  My negative tone can be taken in ways I did not even think about.  I took it upon myself to think that by being honest and real with all this for my friends and family to read was okay.  I was wrong.  So in understanding that venting doesn't need to be done through this line of communication I share this.

My wife and I are blessed. I need to be thankful that she has a job.  It would be a lot stressful if she didn’t. At least one of us has a full-time job to support us both. It doesn’t matter that it’s her. What matters is food, clothing, shelter, and knowing that God is our Father and ultimately provides for us if we only let Him. Has He not provided everything that we need and then some?  

My parents made sure, and to this day still do, that I didn’t do/go without.  They made sure that I had more growing up than what they did. They supported every decision through the years of college hopping and traveling cross country. The last thing I need to do is send a message to them, to my loving supporting wife, to my family and friends that I am a failure – b/c that will probably make them feel like failures.  

I am not a failure. I am not poor. If I want to be productive for the Lord then now’s the time. I have free time while I work a few hours a week.  I could be doing something for the Lord  instead of wasting away to the ‘Internet job search engine lords.’  For when I have a full time job there stands a good chance that I won’t have as much time to do other things of service.  So what am I doing? I don’t have to have someone’s permission to do work for the Lord.  I shouldn't wait on an email or phone call to give me permission to come help out at a food pantry. Did Jesus ask first? No. He just went and met the people where they were. 

I Learned Something Today

Reading my devotion this morning from Charles Stanley, I learned something that I believe I've heard wrong for quite sometime.  You've heard it said that if you are burdened with something, to give it to God and let Him take care of it.  I've always understood this as "having dumped the burden like a bag of garbage" (InTouch July '09, pg. 42).  This is how I've always approached giving my troubles, my burdens to God.  This is how I've always understood this concept.  But this is not the case.  I learned it in a different light this morning and it makes much more sense.  Giving our burden to Him is a process, just like the Christian faith & walk of any believer.  Christ invites us to share in this troubled time with Him so the two of us can walk and work together.  It's a way for us to get our focus off of ourself and our current situation.  It's a way for us to not feel as if we have to handle it and deal with it on our own.  We shouldn't approach anything, good or bad, in this manner.  In any process in which we share it with Christ, we are essentially giving more of ourself to Him.  This is what He wants.  He wants each one of us in order to have the relationship that He desires with us.  In giving our burdens to Him, we are not to do it for selfish relief in our thinking that we cannot deal with the situation anymore.  Instead, we give it to Him so that we can let Him change our thoughts and responses.  This allows us to "begin to love Him, trust Him, believe His promises, and rely on His power" (InTouch, 42).  "Then as the weight of the affliction shifts from our shoulders to His, we will discover relief, although the situation may remain unchanged" (InTouch, 42).  

This makes much more sense than thinking He snatches up our problem right when we ask/tell Him to and everything is made better, instantly.  It's a gradual process.  Just like the rest of the Christian faith.  If we are sincere about wanting to be like Christ and have the relationship with Him that He wants with us, then we have to be patient.  It is a journey and it begins with our hearts.  We have to be sincere about believing in Jesus as the Son of God.  We have to be sincere in our desire to be like Christ.  We have to be sincere in our desire of a more intimate, mature understanding of Jesus thus creating a more intimate, mature relationship with Him.  It's a daily process that starts with giving ourselves to Him.  In doing so, our known sinful desires, attitudes, and struggles will diminish.  And in our continued pursuit of being like Christ and knowing Christ, unknown, sinful, selfish ways will become known to us and the continued refining of our hearts will continue.  We do not just quit sinning and screwing up the minute we realize who Christ is and that we want Him in our life.  It's a daily process.  Just like the patience it takes in sharing our burdens with Christ.  It is in these daily steps that our faith grows.  It is here our understanding of Jesus grows.  And it is here where our relationship with Him matures, growing closer to Him and more like Him.  

Mmm...Blueberry Oatmeal

Well, it's Wednesday.  That means my day off.  Haha.  That's right.  For whatever reason the owners do not wish to have the fitness place cleaned on Wednesdays.  So, I usually take this time to pick up a little around the house, do some sweeping and cleaning here.  Every-now-and-then I will go out to get away from it all such as going hiking on Roan Mountain.  

I get to have my second interview in over a year this Friday.  I have to drive 4.5 hours to Lexington, KY.  I'm staying at my brother's for the night and then on Friday, going to Frankfort (aka: The State Capital of KY).  I have to go before the Oral Interview Board with the Kentucky State Police for the position of Commercial Vehicle Enforcement Officer I.  I am not sure what to expect.  I'm looking forward to doing an interview.  But I'm not going to get my hopes up.  Those who know me and my personality would probably say that I don't fit the mold of a typical cop.  I would have to agree.  So with my various part-time work experience, youth ministry degree, non-military, non-security guard, non-law enforcement experience, I get to present myself to them.  

I have written a few letters to 5 various employees for the Cincinnati Reds about any possible employment.  I figured since baseball and the Reds are a huge passion of mine, why not see if I can get some type of FT gig with them.  I wrote to the head groundskeeper, the head of community relations, and then the top three guys who run the Reds organization about chaplaincy and business operations possibilities.  I figured it couldn't hurt.  The worse thing that could happen is to never hear anything back or get told "no."  And I'm used to that so that's no big loss on my part.  

One big part of my outlook concerning all the jobs I apply to is this: I give it to God.  I tell Him that if this isn't what He has in store for me or how He wants to use me for His purpose then to keep the door closed with that job.  Give it to the person who needs the job more.  Give it to the father of three who is trying to figure out how to make ends meet.  So with these hundreds of jobs I've applied to, I know that me getting rejected is an answered prayer.  Sure it stinks at times when I think in terms of worldly, fleshly pleasures/desires/wants but I quickly remind myself that He is in control and He did answer my prayer.  So in my continued, ambitious pursuit of getting some form of career started, I know He is preparing me for something far bigger and better than I can come up with in my own thinking.  He (God) has something great in store.  

So I'm thinking for the interview, I will walk in with a sweet handle bar 'stache and my aviators on to show them that I can at least look the part.  What do you think??